


I Dream of Rodney

by Bettina (skybs)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-02
Updated: 2011-10-02
Packaged: 2017-10-24 06:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/259938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skybs/pseuds/Bettina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Sheppard finds a bottle and Rodney is a djinn.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Dream of Rodney

**Author's Note:**

> This happens when I've got a cracked out idea and ~~no one~~ -inbetween- doesn't stop me even though I told her not to encourage me, because it would result in something like this unbeta'd and totally on crack ficlet that was inspired by Rodney in _Aurora_ and well, blame her not me.

It was a perfectly normal day. It was sunny, the beach was deserted, the water was warm, and the wind was perfect for surfing. In fact, it was pretty much an awesome day. That was, up until John found an old and muddy bottle in the sand.

'Huh,' John thought, because even though he came to this part of the beach practically every day he'd never found a bottle-post before. And because he was curious and had wanted to get a message in a bottle since he was a little boy, he took out the cork and rubbed the mud off the dark blue bottle with the hem of his shirt.

John wasn't entirely sure what happened then. There was definitely white smoke and the bottle started to vibrate and the next thing he knew there was a medium-built guy standing in front of him. He had brown short hair and was wearing some funky white pants and a jacket with big gray buttons.

"Oh, thank god, I'm still me," the guy said while he patted himself up and down as if he wanted to check his body for injuries. He wiggled his fingers, shook his legs, and checked his neck. "Good, everything's still working," he continued, looking down at himself, "but what the heck am I wearing?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest and blinked with his eyes and all of a sudden he wore blue jeans and a gray t-shirt proclaiming 'I'm with Djinn' and an arrow pointing upwards.

"Ah, yes, much better. So," he said, looking at John for the first time, "who are you?"

John stared at the guy, his mouth opening and closing several times, because what were you supposed to say when some guy appeared out of thin air in front of you. Apparently it was, "What? Who the fuck are you?"

"I asked you first and would you stop with your fish impression? It makes you look pretty dumb. So?"

"What?" John blinked, but the guy only stared back at him, gesturing with his hand that clearly said 'get on with it.' "I'm Major John Sheppard," John finally said.

"Ah, a major, it's been a while since I had one from the military." He nodded to himself. "I'm Rodney McKay, I'm your djinn."

"You're what?" The day got weirder by the minute.

"I'm your djinn. Do you have a hearing problem or are you just stupid?" The 'djinn' rolled his eyes and looked pretty annoyed. "Just great. First I had to spend a couple hundred years on the bottom of the sea and then the guy who finds me turns out to be an idiot."

"I'm not an idiot," John said, but it came out slightly more hysterical than he had intended. He straightened himself, thought calm thoughts of speed and wind and the joy of flying, and then circled Rodney, poking him in the ribs and arms.

"Hey, stop that! I'm a djinn, not a pincushion."

John ignored him, circling Rodney a few more times. "So," he started after he felt as calm as he could get, "you're a djinn--" Rodney rolled his eyes, giving John his best 'duh' impression. "--The kind that lives in bottles and grants their masters three wishes?"

"The thing with the three wishes is a total myth. It's more like a wish a day and not something idiotic like 'world peace' or 'a cure for all diseases,' because that's just not possible even for a genius djinn like me."

"Really? Cool." John grinned. "If I'd ask you to get me a new surfboard, you would?"

"Well, you would have to say 'I wish,' but yeah." Rodney still looked pretty annoyed, but John had his groove back, because really, a wish a day? How great was that?

"Okay. I wish... for you," he pointed first at Rodney and then at himself, "to get me... a new surfboard."

"How... articulate," Rodney mocked, but he crossed his arms in front of his chest and blinked with his eyes. A second later a brand new surfboard was lying between them.

"Cool." John kneeled down, running his hands over the smooth board. It was a beauty and so much better than his old one. He looked up at Rodney, grinning. "I think, I'll keep you."

"Great," Rodney said, "but I'm not calling you 'master,' Major!"

  
And then John took Rodney, the djinn, and his bottle home and the next day John wished Rodney naked and then they had lots and lots of sex. The End.

And now tell me he's not looking like a djinn!  


**Author's Note:**

> [Originally published September 2005.](http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/370536.html)


End file.
